Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Policies+Procedures: blending in with zombies

Zombie Operations Manual: Blending in Effortlessly

Policies and Procedures – Texas Edition

Scope:

This listing of policies and procedures (P+P) applies to anyone that find themselves amongst the flesh-eating living dead (Zombies) in the state of Texas, though may be applicable in other southern states with similar temperatures and humidity.

Purpose:

The purpose of this P+P is to protect the living, uninfected humans trying to survive in an upcoming or current zombie apocalypse. It is important to note that avoidance is the best protection as is being armed with weapons. This P+P is in case there is a need to go out of your safe house and walk among the zombies.

Policy:

What will be discussed here is how to identify the zombies you will be blending in with, the level of risk for infection, what sounds, movements (ie: walking, hand gestures, running and the like), and facial expressions you may or should make, and any weapons you may need. For Camouflage techniques, refer to “___________”. Be sure to read this packet and understand it before going out

Procedures:

Identifying and mimicking the zombie:
Despite what some may think, not all zombies are the slow moving ones you often see in movies. Here, we will cover the four (4) most common zombies you may face.
For any specialty zombie types not listed here such as Parasitic (ie: headcrab zombies, “Aliens” zombies), Zombie Animals and Mutated zombies (mutated zombies will vary depending upon environment and exposure), Refer to the “Unusual and Uncommon Zombies: Policies and Procedures”.

    • Crawlers and Shufflers:
      • These zombies are are the easiest to emulate and avoid infection. They are zombies that have risen from the dead and cannot move so easily due to excessive temperatures and/or rotting flesh, most commonly seen during the late spring through late summer.
        1. Movements: To copy their movements, simply lock your joints and “weakly” shuffle and/or drag one leg as if it's paralyzed while slumping to one side.
        2. Notable sounds and expressions: A soft moan every once in a while and a blank, expressionless face is sufficient
        3. Weapons and Camouflage : a gun and large butcher knife will be all that will be needed for these zombies. Minimal camouflage required.
Risk Level of infection: low to medium (depending on amount present)
*Special Notes*
This is not entirely necessary unless there are other zombie types about the area within a 5 kilometer distance.

    • Walkers:
      • This particular type of zombie is difficult to place the cause of zombification due to its' vagueness. Observing the spread of the infection may pinpoint whether it is merely a stronger Crawler/shuffler (in other words, risen from the dead and will NOT move faster than their staggering walk) or if they are actually Runners (see description of Runners below). These are seen throughout the year and move relatively quicker than their sluggish brethren and often huddle in small groups.
        1. Movements: These zombies have a tendency to have their legs spread outward when walking to keep their balance and sometimes have their arms and hands held up around their mid-torso. They also have a tendency to stare in a set direction.
        2. Notable Sounds and Expressions: these zombies appear more like clueless, blood-covered humans than they do upright zombies from a distance. Have a look as if you are clueless and a slight hint of confusion, while maintaining a blank stare. These types are usually quiet with an occasional “uuuuuunnn” sort of moan.
        3. Weapons and Camouflage: two quick-shooter guns and a large blade will be best here. Minimal to Medium amount of camouflage required.
Risk Level of Infection: medium to medium-high (depending upon amount and whether they are actually runners.

*Special Notes*
Except for the group size, it is almost impossible to distinguish Walkers from Runners until you start being chased. In the case that you have encountered a runner, be sure to take the proper actions of removing (by cutting off) or destroying the brain by the most available weapon or vehicle.
(see Runners 3. weapons and camouflage for further details)

    • Runners:
            • These are the second most dangerous zombies to encounter due to their ability to blend in with the Walker zombies and cause surprise attacks because of it. These types are more aggressive in their behavior and charge much like an angry bull. They are also around all times during the year and these infections are normally caused by human-made chemicals, viruses, or any other biological change. Because of this, Infection rates are higher and a single scratch can cause the zombification process.

                    1. Movements: They will stagger and walk much like Walker zombies, but have the ability to run after you if provoked. Behave the same way as Walker zombies, and be prepared to run should the need arise.
                    2. Notable Sounds and Expressions: Runner zombies will be the ones that will have an expression much like Walker zombies, however they will show visual aggressiveness when they are about to attack or chase someone and will yell, something like a zombie battle cry whilst attacking or chasing.
                    3. Weapons and Camouflage: two (2) quick-shooter guns and a large blade. Medium to large amount of camouflage needed.
Risk Level of Infection: medium to high

*Special Notes*
Be wary when what seems like a walker starts staring at you for a long period of time and swaying slightly; there's a high possibility it is a runner and is poised to attack.

    • Thrillers:
            • Considered to be the most dangerous, Thriller zombies resulted in the combination of human-made results combined with someone that thought it was a good idea to try and control zombies to be a sideshow venue for a Michael Jackson tribute and earn money off them. While the initial plan to make zombies dance in unison was fruitful, they started to attack anyone and any zombie that becomes out of sync with their dance and music routine. Anyone infected by the Thriller zombies will eventually become one of their group dancers. They are as quick and agile as Runner zombies, but much more annoying.

                  1. Movements: Thriller zombies move only to the Michael Jackson hit- “Thriller” dance and do the moonwalk shuffle. The problem is that you don't know where they will start first once they've started. Unless you are familiar though and through with the dance, it is highly suggested you keep clear of these zombies by at least 5 kilometers. Walking, raise up both your arms in a claw like manner with the leg you are facing high in the air and move between your left and right.
                  2. Notable Expressions and sounds: Mouth gaping open, otherwise no other notable sounds or expressions.
                  3. Weapons and Camouflage: four (4) quick-shooter guns with easy-aim technology, or a fast and sturdy vehicle to run them over with. Camouflage will have little affect with turnouts
Risk Level of Infection: Extremely high (do NOT go near them)

*Special notes *
Thriller zombies move in packs of at least three (3) and can go anywhere up to 23 (largest known Thriller zombie group as recorded by “Gratefully Dead Pharmacy”). A group chooses it's victim by dancing towards a person and expects you to join in. Whether or not you join in is more than likely to result in death. The best action to take is to run or drive away very fast.

No matter the zombie type, always move with a second person to be back up.


Definitions:
  • Infection: refers to the act of getting the zombie virus, plague, spore, blood, or any way that causes the zombies to multiply from person (or animal) to person.
  • Zombification: is the process of becoming a zombie.

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